Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Mikey
Part One: The HS yearsThe love of my life. Well, it is of course, more complicated than that. Now it is a really simple kind of love, which is the way it should be. We love eachother despite the past and we know that the reason we met when we did was because we were giving eachother a taste of the future.
I met Mikey around January of 1998, while I was dating Mark. In my senior year of HS, I decided to forego taking the French classes that had me tearing my hair out with stress and instead take a fun elective, so that when Senioritis set in, it wouldn't be so devastating on my grades. I chose Drama. I had been in many plays from the time I was 9 until then, so I figured it would be an easy A, which it was. However, this meant that my class would be during the Upperclassmen lunch, which is why I met Mikey.
Mikey had just transfered in the middle of his Junior year to my school and wanted to carry on his life at this school just as he had at his previous school. So he did set design and crew for the HS Drama Club and participated in Campus Ministry. Being that he was new, he latched on to what was familiar.
So, the first day of classes, I get to my drama class and I see this cute guy sitting in my teacher's chair at her desk. This was a normal thing, the teacher hardly ever sat at her desk and her students were like her kids, she was a total mom to all of us. I loved her! Anyhow, she introduced us. I thought he was annoying and kinda full of himself. I found him attractive and yet annoying at the same time. I decided right there that he would be a good person to harass when I really felt like harassing someone.
Fast forward to right before Mark and I split. I was tutoring my friend, Alexa, in geometry one afternoon after school. We got finished pretty early and she was prepared for her quiz, so we went to my locker to get my books so we could wait for our parents to pick us up.
Well, for some reason, I got the giggles, because on the front of my Anatomy book, I noticed I could see part of this guy's nipple. The book had a muscular shirtless man on it, but it only showed from above his pecs and up, just barely leaving out the nipple.
So we ran around showing everyone his nipple. Mikey happened to be one of the people we harassed. Mikey and I soon became friends after that and every afternoon I would harass him while waiting to be picked up from school.
After Mark and I split, my drama teacher found out. So, she relayed the info to him and kinda played messenger. I was hoping he liked me and he was hoping I liked him. So, one day during lunch, I worked up the nerve to ask him to Prom. He was only too excited to go with me.
Prom was great. I gave him his first kiss and soon we were dating. I was his first girlfriend. We dated throughout the rest of the school year. We also dated over the summer, but when it came close to me going off to college, he broke it off with me.
I was really upset. My first year of college started off at the wrong foot and everything was downhill that year. Mikey and I still kept in contact, but I was devastated. I wanted to be with him forever and I never wanted to break up with him, although I never let him know I was devastated. But as time would have it, I soon got over it and moved on.
Stay tuned for Part two, which will probably be my last post about my boyfriends in this journal. Don't worry, I've still got more boyfriends before that post.
[sealed with a kiss]
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Mark
At the height of my affections for Mark, I wrote
A Treasure Inside. About 6 or 7 years later, I learned that he was gay. I can't say that I didn't have an inkling that he was. This thought occured to me years after I broke up with him.
Anyhow, I met Mark sometime after Christmas break in my Senior year of HS. How, I met him, I cannot recall. That is kind of sad, isn't it? No worries though, because I don't talk to him anyhow.
Anyways, I met Mark and he stole my heart for about a month or two in HS. I asked him to the Coed Dance (that's Winter Ball for everyone else). This was where the girls were to ask the boys to the formal. I bought my Jessica McClintok dress, purple satin spaghetti strap dress with rhinestones along the neckline. I loved that dress.
We went to the dance and we danced and we danced. When the song, "Lady in Red" came on he sang...
Lady in Purple to me. I wanted to die. I was so gone for his affections, I was gaga for him. Especially after that dance.
Everyday after that dance, I would walk him home. He lived about half a mile away from the school. We would talk and talk and talk on our walks. It was a great talking relationship. Sometimes we would hold hands, but affections never went past a hug. Apparently, because of his Mormon background, he believed that only married people kissed. His background was also Catholic, so I thought he was kinda full of shit.
Eventually, I couldn't take the lack of physicalness in the relationship. I grew to be irritated with the whole thing. Then Prom was rolling around. I asked him if we were planning on Prom. He replied, "I don't want to go, so we are not doing Prom. I don't see the point of spending that much money on one night and being that uncomfortable in a tux." I got ticked off, I tried to convince him otherwise. Finally, I came to the conclusion that I was going to the Prom with or without him. So, I informed him of my decision...it went something like this...
Me: Mark, can you please just do Prom for me?
Mark: We already talked about this. I am not going to Prom!
Me: Well, I am. Whether or not you are my date is not of my concern. So, I think it is best that we just stop this thing where it is. I am going to Prom. I also want a relationship where I can actually kiss the guy. I know that because of your beliefs, you are not willing to do this. I can't hold off. Call me a slut, call me whatever you want, I have to have some type of physical relationship. I'm sure you will find a girl better than I, that can respect your wishes. See you around.
Mark: Come on.
Me: No, seriously, I can't do this anymore.
Mark: Fine. Have fun at the Prom!
That was the end of that. It was short lived, because I wrote that little excerpt in February, after the dance, and I was over him in March. In May, I was off to the Prom with the love of my life.
[sealed with a kiss]
Friday, November 11, 2005
David L.
I met David when I was 15 almost 16, it was right before my Junior year. In fact, I think I turned 16 and then I broke up with him shortly after my birthday but right before school started. He was 18. We met in a summer school theater class at the local public HS.
A little background. This summer school class was not for the fucktards and retards who failed drama...ok, I guess if they did fail it, they could have made it up, but this was supposed to be more of a summer enhancing experience. The program was directed by my longtime adolscencehood drama teacher. He told me about it when I was doing community theater productions with him. So, anyhow, this summer theater class put on a major musical production every summer and I think that they still do it. So, essentially, everyone wanted to be there and a majority of us had some talent, be it singing, dancing, acting or all three.
So, I played Golde and he played Motel from
Fiddler on the Roof. Throughout most of the play, he was dating this girl named, Laura. They were kinda gross with the PDA and were always getting in fights. Sometime after we put on our final night of plays, he dumped this girl and asked me out. So, I went out with him a few times. I really liked to go out with him because it pissed my mom off. She hated him. Mostly because he was older than me and had no ambition to do anything with his life.
All I remember doing with him was making out in the movie theater. He was a dirty guy, roman hands and russian fingers. I wasn't too comfortable with it and before I went back to school, I dumped him. I just said it wasn't going to work out because he was nasty. It was so short lived. I don't even know if it was really worth writing about.
He wasn't a bad guy. Not mean or a jerk or anything like that, just a little too perverted for my standards. I just was not comfortable. Which is really important to note. You shouldn't date someone that you are not comfortable with or someone that you can't get comfortable with.
I soon found out that he wasn't too upset over the dumping, because he got back together with his previous girlfriend within a few days. Anyhow, there was no karma that was generated in this relationship. It was just too short.
[sealed with a kiss]
Friday, May 20, 2005
Boyfriend Problems?
Ok, I have not written in here in a month or so and I have been keeping stats on this page. I have been noticing that the bulk of people who visit here, come here because they have boyfriend problems. So, I am going to offer advice for this one time only, because over time, you learn a lot when you date a lot.
Frequently searched for:
- Reasons to dump your boyfriend
If you are looking for a reason, that is reason enough to dump the boyfriend. You aren't interested anymore, so move on and do it, you know that guys would, so why can't a woman do the same?
If you are the guy who is being dumped, don't dwell, its probably better this way. You didn't mesh or gel well so find sommeone else who does.
- How to deal with a boyfriend that cheated on you and now the girl had his baby
Leave, don't deal. If you are searching for a solution on the internet, you obviously care enough that you are worried about him leaving you for the other girl with the baby or you are worried about the situation hampering your relationship. Guess what? The situation already hampered your relationship. Move on and dump him. No one wants to be with someone who cheats on them. If he did it once, he will do it again. Once a cheater always a cheater. Cheating men have issues and problems and that is why they cheat, so go find someone healthy. Plus you don't want to be trapped in the "That's my baby's daddy" triangle. Especially if you do not have kids yourself.
- Stood up boyfriend
Good for you. If you are worried about doing this, appologize and see where it goes. If you are just feeling guilty, don't. Chances are he will stand up a girl once in his life too.
- How long do you give a boyfriend his space?
Until he decides to call you. Remember that you also had a life before you dated him. Get re-acquainted with it, soon you won't be thinking about his space anymore because you will be enjoying yours. If he never calls you again, oh well, atleast you are re-acquainted with your life. A guy who needs space, needs space, let him have it, don't be clingy or it could mean break up city.
- I'm 14 and I want a baby but my boyfriend doesn't
Finish High School, you have plenty of time for babies after you finish school. Your boyfriend probably realizes this too. Fourteen is too young to be popping out babies and you do not want a father-to-be that is not ready for this. At 14 you are not ready for this either. Go live your life and save baby booming for after age 25, because you are going to change a lot by then. What seems like a good idea now, will be regretable later. Babies should not have babies.
- I found out my boyfriend cheated on me for 6 months with his ex girl
Slacking on those home-girl investigations, aren't we? Dump him. He is an ass and you are better than that. You deserve better than that, because you are human. Chances are, he will do it again. Once a cheater always a cheater.
- My boyfriend is obsessed with my ass
This is a problem? Atleast it isn't someone else's ass that he is obsessed with. But if you don't like it, tell him. If he doesn't get it, leave him, because he is not respecting your body.
- Girlfriend having problems because boyfriend is 7 years older
So you two don't see eye to eye. He wants to listen to Billy Idol and you are into JZ. You want to party till 2am and he wants to go to bed early for work in the morning. He wants to take you to a nice dinner and you want to go see your old HS's football game with friends. Take some time to yourself and re-evaluate. Are these problems long term or short term problems? Do they have to do with his personality? You can't change that. Which can you live with and which can you not live with? Picking your battles is key. Is he a good fit for you presently? If he doesn't cut it and he isn't willing to work with you, go find someone more close to your age.
- When your boyfriend has stopped calling should you call him?
No. If he wanted to talk to you, he would call you. He isn't that into you. Find someone else who is.
- Good reasons to move in with your boyfriend
Moving in is usually a precursor to marriage for most people. If you aren't thinking of that, don't do it. If you can't find the good reasons, don't do it. If you are thinking of marriage, then why don't you do that first? Moving in is just playing house and will be way different than marriage, so why do you want to know that difference? It only makes things harder.
- Means things you can say to an ex boyfriend
Let it go. He is an ex-boyfriend, don't waste your time any longer thinking about it.
- How you will get your boyfriend/girlfriend to smile?
Tickle them, works like a charm. If they still don't smile. Make them say Swiss, you can't say Swiss without a smile.
- Parents don't like my boyfriend but they have never met him
Chances are that they don't like him, because of the way you have been behaving since you have started dating him. That is really what they don't like, is your behavior. If this guy is making you act differently and not in a good way, he is probably not that great and your parents probably have a right not to like him.
- Find a boyfriend,nice and near me
Wouldn't we all?
Hope that helps, this concludes the boyfriend advice for today. A lot of this advice is common sense, I know that. However, when you are
"in Lo-ove," common sense gets thrown out the window, when it should be heeded.
[sealed with a kiss]
Friday, February 04, 2005
Kris
I met Kris my freshman year of high school. That was 1994, folks, when life was sweet. Anyhow, I think I was the first of my friends to venture into Kris territory and I don't think I was the last to wander into his territory haphazardly since. Anyhow, I have nothing mean or cruel to say about Kris, he is a great guy and an awesome friend. I think we shall be friends forever, because as much shit as I have put him through and as much shit as he put me through, we always hug and make up. You can't stay mad at someone who is so damned goofy at times.
So, on with the Chronicles. By the way, I could write a blog solely about Kris and our High school Chronicles and all the Chronicles since. There are many and they are hilarious, well maybe I will one day, I have to get his permission first though. Anyhow, I digress.
So, I met this shy boy on the lunch benches during our lunch time. My friend, Jessica, introduced me to him. She said I should, "Go for it!" I thought about it, but I thought I needed to know him better before I gave him a shot. So, we talked and we told each other all about our lives, where we had been, where we are and where we are headed. Seems like an awful lot for two 14 year olds to talk about. Anyhow, by the time Halloween rolled around and more importantly by the time Logan's Halloween party rolled around, I was ready to play spin the bottle and 7 minutes in heaven, and all those poor-excuses-to-get-action kinds of games with him. Well, after playing spin the bottle and having it land on him, that was after Trevor had to kiss me on the cheek, we were dared to kiss for 30 seconds. So, we did and I wasn't sure if he dug it or not, actually, I'm still not sure. He must have though, because the following year was when we actually dated for a couple of weeks.
Let's just say the kiss was a bit awkward, but we got past that and we remained friends throughout the year. We hung out together on weekends and such, met other friends in a group, all that good stuff. See this story chronologically starts next, but things are never quite over between he and I. Now I see him more as a long lost brother than I have seen him previously. I think this is really only because he always has a girlfriend and I always have a boyfriend and la la la, many excuses not to give it another shot.
Anyhow, the next year, we dated for about two weeks. That was when we found out that we were too good of friends and too much alike to date. So, he ended up dating both Jessica and Logan in the following years, then Amanda and now with the girl he is with now (can't remember her name). We all joked that every girl in my HS group took him to a dance or dated him at one point, which is pretty much true. The only person who hadn't was my friend Jennifer. Later on throughout the years Kris and I have had our moments of making out or getting too close, but we quickly say to each other that it can't happen.
So, what did I learn from Kris? Well, Kris made me crazy and obsessed during most of HS. I think I learned how to let go of a guy and just let what happens happen. He taught me to take the "No Worries" attitude about boys. Simply put, he taught me, "If it is meant to be, it is meant to be and it will happen in its own time, but if it is not meant to be, it will never happen," so why worry about petty crap? I also learned that my ex-boyfriends could in fact be good friends after the relationship was over. However, they need a good 6 months of space before they can take being your friend again.
Maybe the best question is, what did I gain from Kris? I gained an awesome friend who is never too shy or too sensitive that he won't be straight up with me. He is a loyal friend and one that I can bounce ideas off of. He will listen to me without judgment and give me advice when asked. I guess I gained one of the best male friends I have.
As far as karma stats go with Kris, we are even steven. Anything he dealt at me I threw back and vice versa. I love that guy, he loves me and we know that we will be friends for all time. He knows I'm there for him always and I know that he is there for me always. Can it get any better than that?
Oh yeah, we also had this deal. That if neither of us could find someone and we were both at a ripe old age to be married, we'd take off and go to Vegas. Ask yourself how many friends you have like that.
[sealed with a kiss]
Monday, January 10, 2005
Gabe
I met Gabe in the 1992-1993 school year, my 7th grade year. We met in a Parks and Recreation Community Theater class. By this time, I had been in this theater class for about three years, however, this was Gabe's first class and his mother thought it would be a great elective for his home schooling education. Around town, Gabe was known as the neighborhood bad boy. He was being home schooled because he was expelled from his Elementary School and they did not have a continuation school for kids his age, so his mom was left to home school him.
I kinda thought that Gabe liked me through most of the year, but a few months after my dad died, it seemed like he was worth dating. I was excited about it, because he was kinda cute, kinda bad and he was totally in love with me. I dated him for 10 months and ended up breaking up with him just after the New Year in 1994.
However, during that time, he taught me the appreciation of Heavy Metal music and I have been a Metallica fan ever since. Along with that I turned into a Nirvana, Pearl Jam, and Aerosmith fan. So, I think the only thing that I really gained in a positive way was an appreciation for music. I knew I liked it, but I didn't know how much I could like it.
More things that Gabe taught me: not to care what other people think, to have confidence in myself, how to rebel, how to drive my mother batty, how to be a bad ass, how not to be so naive, and how to not go with what is popular because it is popular. Really, what Gabe taught me was how to be a feminist before I was ever one, by merely teaching me how to not succumb to what society expects me to be. He was all about "No Labels" and the "Punk" philosophy and since I dated him in that very fragile time period of puberty, he has become a part of me, but I use him in a way that benefits me instead of harms me. He had a tendency to do a great deal of self-destruction.
It sounds like things were roses, but in actuality, they were not. I soon became to detest his attitude and the only reason I stayed with him for as long as I did was to help him break his record of how long he dated a girl. A really dumb reason, but I was 13 by that time, what did I know? Practically nothing, only how to piss my mom off and annoy everyone around me, which I did with a smile on my face.
What really was the deal breaker was that he started using drugs. This drug usage opened his mind to bisexuality, in which I found out when he called me and he was high. Gabe had lots of problems besides his attitude, he frequently smoked Marijuana as well as cigarettes. Although for most of the time he was dating me, I told him I would not continue to see him if he kept up those habits, so he "gave them up for me." Only, he really did.
You see, his mother and I had a conversation. She noticed that since Gabe and I had been dating, he stopped smoking (she didn't know about the Mary Jane), something she could not get him to stop. So, she told me that I was a good influence on her son.
If a mother of your boyfriend ever tells you that you are a good influence for her son and your own mother thinks that your boyfriend is a bad influence on you, dump him and run for the hills. You don't want to be known as the one who improves someone while they defamate your character. Unfortunately, I took this as a compliment. It was a compliment, but one no mother should make to her son's girlfriend when she knows her son is a loser.
Other things that happened, Gabe pushed me into being more sexually advanced for my age, we did not have sex, but there were other things he did instead (no need to go into detail). The point of that is I was pushed into doing things that I did not want to do.
I learned that a guy should never push you into doing things that you do not want to do and that at 12 and 13 you should not be doing those things anyhow. He also cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend, which I think made me grow to despise him. I also used to lie to my mother to see him.
When he went to Jr. High, his school was right next to my house. So, I would take the dog for a walk when he got out of school and meet him around the block. We used to smooch where I thought my mom couldn't see me, but the neighbors could and did. So they would tell my mom about it and I would lie and get busted for it. After a while my mom just let me see him figuring it wouldn't last long anyways and really it didn't last very long. However, Gabe was my first "serious" relationship, not my first love, because I didn't really love him and I realize that now. It took me a while to get over this relationship enough to want to date again. So, looking back, time for the Karma Stats for this relationship.
Stats on Gabe |
Was Cheated on by him | 10 |
Pushed into doing things I didn't want to do | 15 |
Brutally dumped him over the phone. | -2 |
KARMA TALLY TOTAL | 23 |
[sealed with a kiss]
Thursday, July 08, 2004
Scott
I think I have a thing for transfer students, because this is how I met Scott. He was a transfer student from a Private School in Norco, which closed down after the previous school year; we were in 7th grade. So, as young hormones do fly at 12, he passed me a note in class asking me if I would be his girlfriend, with a "circle yes or no" for my response.
As Scott was my friend and I think I liked him, I circled yes and that was the beginning of the end. My first kiss was with him on the school playground. In which the next day, I got a infection in my mouth from him, I think it was hand, foot and mouth or something similar. All I know is that I was absolutely miserable for a week afterward.
However, we shared similar interests in animals and often volunteered together after school to do the classroom chores of taking care of the animals for the teacher. We had such a long relationship of about 3 weeks or a month, I can't remember. I just know that the reason I dumped him was extremely shallow, as are all reasons 12 year olds dump their boyfriends. I dumped him, because he was not popular and my fellow Jr High Cheerleaders did not like him, which of course escalated to the whole class not liking him. So, feeling all the flack from it, I just decided to dump him and be done with it. Actually, I did it before the school pictures were taken, so that was before November, which means I only dated him for maybe a month at best. However, we did go on a date to the movies. I cannot remember what movie it was, but that we went to it and kissy faced through most of the movie.
So, here are the karma stats on Scott:
Stats on Scott |
Dumped him for a shallow reason | -2 |
Continued being mean to him far longer than the dumping | -5 |
Apologized and made up, befriended him later on. | 10 |
KARMA TALLY TOTAL | 3 |
[sealed with a kiss]
